Episode 8: Mastering Your Money Mindset: Stop Stressing Over Money and Start Making It
Constantly stressing over money? Forever feeling like you’ll never get ahead? Learn how to flip the script and bring more abundance into your life in today’s episode of The Ashly Locklin Show.
Here’s a preview of what you’ll learn in this episode:
How to evaluate your beliefs around money and rewrite the narrative.
The difference between the scarcity and abundance mindset and how to live in the abundance mindset.
5 steps for reprogramming your money mindset.
Show Transcript
Hello hello hello! Welcome to today’s episode where we’re going to dive into one of my favorite topics: mastering your money mindset!
I touched on this in the last episode when I shared why investing in your business is a gain, not a loss and how time is money. So if you haven’t listened to that one, take a listen to hear some really good nuggets about money!
But today I’m excited to dive deeper into how changing your perspective on money and learning how to manifest more of it can change your relationship with money and your whole freaking life.
So I’ll start by exploring the stories you’ve told and continue to tell yourself about money, dive into the scarcity vs abundance mindsets, then go through the steps for actually reprogramming your mindset and bringing that cash monay into your life!
First, let’s talk stories.
What are the stories you were told about money as a child?
If you were from a working class family, like myself, maybe you heard:
Money doesn’t grow on trees
We can’t afford it
We aren’t rich
It takes money to make money
Money doesn’t buy happiness
And those seemingly insignificant and simple statements led you to believe:
That money is hard to come by
People with money are greedy and selfish
Rich people are unhappy
Money is difficult to attain and requires a lot of sacrifices (time)- because maybe your parents were always working.
Money will never be available to me because I don’t come from generational wealth
I’ll never be able to make money because I don’t have money to invest or start something
Do any of those speak to you?
Maybe you grew up in an upper-middle class family, but that meant your parents were constantly working and you were left with a nanny or babysitter most of the time.
How did that shape your beliefs about money?
How about your spouse or partner? How are your beliefs and upbringings different? My husband came from a much wealthier family and he is much more willing to spend, travel, and invest money than me...because to me, I’m still trying to un-do the belief that I’m poor and money is scarce.
A quick little background:
I was raised by my dad and great-grandparents (we all lived together in an older home in the city of Pittsburgh). My dad worked a lot so I was with my great-grandparents most of the time, and gosh they were saints. They were in their 80s and I have no idea how they had the energy or patience to deal with me and help me with my homework each day. I’m losing my dang mind with my kids and I’m in my 30s...haha!
My great-grandmother was a homemaker her entire life, raising 5 children and then me. So the only income they had was my great-grandfather’s retirement from working in ___.
They kept an envelope of cash on the dining room mantle and that’s all we had for the month. So just that simple knowledge of “this is all we have” impacted me in so many ways.
My great-aunt worked in the city for a law firm and she would work until 7 PM each night then come over for dinner. I always admired her fancy work clothes and high heels, but her work hours led me to believe that successful people work long hours and dress fancy.
Every Sunday, my entire family would come over for the traditional Italian Sunday dinner of pasta. My cousins would come from their fancy suburban homes and I always wished I could live in a suburb or new home like theirs.
So I was led to believe that the only way to make a lot of money was to go to college and get all the degrees, which I did! But that left me living paycheck to paycheck trying to pay off student loan debt.
Have you heard of the “Sunday Scaries” - that feeling of dread, despair, and depression that hits every Sunday when you realize you have to go to work the next day? Yep, I dealt with that each week. But when I looked around at everyone else, they felt the same way. Everyone bemoaned going to work the next day, so I just thought it was normal to hate your job and live paycheck to paycheck.
But then I learned about entrepreneurship, of starting my own business instead of working for someone else, of the ability to stop trading hours for dollars and actually look forward to Mondays.
And it’s been a journey of intentionally working on my money mindset to get out of that place of lack and into that place of abundance. It’s still something I have to call myself out on daily as those “I can’t afford this” thoughts creep in. I still get that “oh my god, what if my card is declined” sick feeling at the checkout lines, even though I’ve built 2 insanely lucrative businesses and have more than enough money to pay for my groceries.
So understand that the stories you were told as a child, the beliefs that have been ingrained in you, the things you still believe, won’t change overnight, but I want to show you how to become aware of them and intentionally rewire your mind to live in the mindset of abundance and attract more wealth into your life.
Take a moment to think about the negative stories playing in your mind about money.
Now reframe them and think about the positive stories.
Wealth creates opportunities for others (your ability to hire assistants, graphic designers, mentors, etc).
Money allows for contributions to meaningful causes (wealth allows you to donate to causes you care about)
Money makes the world go round (making money is great, spending money helps others and contributes to the economy)
Money brings comfort, which brings happiness (they say money doesn’t buy happiness, but research shows that money - only up to the point where you feel “comfortable” that your needs are met) does bring happiness because you feel safe and secure
Money is readily available to me (there is more than enough money for me to take and I don’t have to trade hours for dollars to get it)
Now let’s dive in the scarcity vs abundance mindset.
Those with a scarcity mindset, believe and do these things:
They believe there isn't enough - there’s not enough money, there’s not enough opportunity for everyone
They hoard things - they believe everything is a limited resource and they need to take what they can now before someone else takes it (we saw this with the toilet paper shortage during the early stages of pandemic)
They won't share knowledge - they’re so afraid that if they share something they know, someone else will take it, will steal it, will get credit for it, or will use it and be more successful. So they hoard their knowledge too.
They are suspicious of others - they believe everyone has an agenda, everyone is out to get them, everyone is trying to one-up them or get ahead of them
They resent competition - because they don’t want their position threatened. They don’t want anyone else challenging them or doing as well or better. They want to maintain the status quo.
They are afraid of being replaced - they have such short-term vision, they are hanging onto their job or their position with all they’ve got because they don’t believe there’s another or better opportunity out there for them. And this is also why they feel threatened by competition.
They think small & avoid risks - because again, they don’t believe there’s enough out there. They dwell on the negative, they believe they aren’t lucky and they’ll always lose, they don’t believe a risk could ever pay off for them.
They fear change - they don’t like when anything changes, they like things to stay the same at work, at home, and in the world.
They hope others fail - and they might not even be aware that they have these deep beliefs. When someone else is doing well, those in a scarcity mindset worry that their own position is threatened, so they secretly (and sometimes without realizing it) hope the other person fails.
They criticize others - they are quick to judge and tear others down (whether they do it aloud or criticize secretly). They are always looking at other people’s faults, weaknesses, and imperfections. They refuse to acknowledge other people’s talents and gifts or give authentic encouragement (sure they might deliver a nice comment, but it’s not always sincere or genuine).
They blame others for their failures - they are the ones who will be driving well below the speed limit and flip out when someone passes them. Because in their eyes, everyone else is wrong and is wronging them. They refuse to accept responsibility for their failures and feel better placing the blame on others.
Whereas people who have an abundance mindset believe:
There's more than enough - more than enough money, more than enough opportunity for everyone who wants it
They are generous with things - they don’t hoard things, they save things for others, they willingly give time, money, and resources in order to help others succeed, benefit, or thrive
They willingly share knowledge - they are eager to share what they know or have learned in order to help others. They know that what they give, they will receive. They never fear that someone will take that knowledge and succeed, because that is the intention- to help others do well.
They trust others - they see the good in people, they know some people have agendas, but they don’t dwell on the bad apples, they know that most people are good
They welcome competition - because they know it makes them level-up. They don’t see competition as a threat, instead they see it as an opportunity to push outside of their comfort zones, to reach new goals, and be their best.
They strive to grow - they aren’t afraid of being replaced because they know there are bigger and better things out there. They are constantly learning, growing, and looking for better opportunities and ways to level up.
They think big & take risks - they look at the bigger picture, not the present moment. They are constantly zooming out whereas people in the scarcity mindset are forever zoomed into their current situation and reality. Those in the abundance mindset are willing to take risks, they trust their guts, they don’t believe in “luck,” instead they know that they are responsible for their own outcomes and are willing to do whatever it takes to make their dreams a reality.
They take ownership of change - they don’t fear change, they know that the only constant in life is change. Things are constantly changing and those with an abundance mindset embrace change, adapt, and are the first ones to master and leverage change.
They hope others succeed - they are professional hype girls. They want everyone to win, which is why they’re willing to share knowledge with others. They see others succeeding and instead of feeling threatened or hoping they fail, those in an abundance mindset are happy for those who are succeeding, they cheer them on and look for opportunities to work with them or learn from them. They know there is enough room at the top for everyone and genuinely hopes that everyone makes it.
They compliment others and are genuinely kind and uplifting. Instead of constantly criticizing, judging, and tearing others down, those in an abundance mindset see the good in others, want to compliment others in order to make others feel good, and want to spread light and kindness.
And they accept responsibility for their failures - they know that they are 100% responsible for everything that happens in their life and business. If they get into a car accident, instead of blaming the other person, they accept responsibility that they should’ve left earlier. They don’t place the blame on others just because it’s easier or makes them feel better, they accept responsibility and view each failure as a learning opportunity and chance to improve in the future.
So tell me, which category do you fall into? Scarcity or abundance?
Maybe you fall into abundance for most but scarcity for some…
Maybe you realize that you are living mostly in scarcity (I realized this when I first learned about the two mindsets)...so don’t beat yourself up or try to deny it.
In order to change, you must accept it, acknowledge it, then be intentional about choosing to switch your mindset and move into that of abundance.
And let’s take a deeper look into the scarcity vs abundance mindset with respect to spending money:
Those in a scarcity mindset say: It's too expensive
Whereas those in an abundance mindset say: If it gets me to the next level, it's worth every penny
Those in a scarcity mindset say: Everyone is already doing it, why should I bother?
Whereas those in an abundance mindset say: Their win is proof of what's possible & no one does it like me, I can bring a unique approach
Those in a scarcity mindset say: I can't afford it
Those in an abundance mindset say: I can’t afford not to. How much time & money will I waste with trial & error?
Those in a scarcity mindset say: What if it doesn't work for me?
Whereas those in an abundance mindset say: It will always work as long as I put in the work.
So think of this the next time you slip into that scarcity mindset.
***And while we’re on the subject, this episode is brought to you by my Pivot to Profit High Level Mastermind, which is for ladies who are already having success in one business but want to create and launch something of their own. Whether it’s a course, a membership, a book, or something else, you’ll learn how to make sure it sells before creating it, then create it, market it, launch it, and finally scale it! The mastermind includes group calls as well as 1:1 calls with me to map out your individual plan and unlimited Voxer access so I can help you slay it! So if you’ve been wanting to create another stream of income and pivot like I did (and have a wildly successful launch), find the link with more info in the show notes.***
And now...how to reprogram your mindset.
So we talked about getting out of scarcity and into abundance, but how do you actually do that and stop stressing over money and start attracting it? Here are 5 steps.
Step 1: Get in alignment with your desires.
First, what is it that you want? Are you clear about your money goals? Have you taken the time to write down exactly what your financial goals are monthly, quarterly, and yearly?
And more specifically, what are you thinking about when it comes to money? The money you don't have? The lack? The fear you have over spending money? The stress you have over paying bills?
Here’s the deal: you get what you think about - whether you like it or not.
The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on expands.
If you don't want lack, stop focusing on lack. Stop focusing on the things you don’t have, the money you owe, the money you don’t have. And instead focus on what you want.
Focus on the money coming to you, the financial freedom you’ll have, the abundance in your life.
And most importantly, if you want something, FEEL like you already have it.
Visualize yourself having what you want, doing what you want. FEEL what it feels like to live in that reality. Feel as if it already happened. What are those feelings?
If you are constantly feeling stressed, doubtful, angry, and frustrated...you are only going to bring more of that into your life. Ever have a day where nothing seems to go right, it’s one bad thing after another? But you’re dwelling on it all day. You’re going around telling everyone what an awful day you’re having. My kids have this book called the Pout Pout Fish and one of the repeating lines is “I spread the dreary-wearies all over the place.” When you’re spreading the dreary-wearies, you’re just attracting more dreary-wearies.
But if you intentionally focus on feeling grateful, excited, thrilled, elated, and happy, you are more likely to bring that and what you desire into your life. And at the end of the Pout Pout Fish book, the fish decides to spread the cheery-cheeries all over the place and his whole life changes.
Stop walking around acting all down and out, focus on what you want to feel and experience and tap into those vibrations.
Lastly, act as if it already happened. Set your desires and intentions, don’t doubt them, and have complete faith and confidence that it’s done, that your goals and dreams will become a reality. This is key- the belief that it will happen and the attitude that it already has happened.
Step 2: Change the way you talk about money
What do you say and how do you feel when you pay your bills? Do you frequently say: "I can't afford..."? Do you stress over bills? Do you get the mail and say, “great, more bills, I’ll never get ahead.”?
Instead send positive energy out when you put money into the world. Be excited to pay others, to pay for what you use or want, to keep the economy going. Be grateful that you have the money to do so (even if it’s your last dime). When you pay for a course, mentor, assistant, or tool for your business, don’t feel stressed and scared when entering your credit card info, instead be excited, trust that it’s a great investment, be excited about where it’s going to take you and the abundance it’s going to lead to.
Step 3: Practice gratitude for what you have
If you want more, you need to be grateful for what you have. Each day, I wake up and silently go through all the things I’m thankful for before I even open my eyes (starting with “I’m so thankful for another day on this earth, for another day of life.”) Then as part of my morning routine, I write 3-5 things I’m grateful for in my journal each day. Sometimes I write an entire page, but usually I stick to 3-5 things.
Step 4: Practice gratitude for the things you EXPECT to receive in the future
I’ve been doing this for 5 years and it’s amazing to look back through my journal and see all the things I wrote in expectation are now realities. Each day I write, “For the future, I am grateful for…” and then I write 3 things I want to be a reality as if they already happened. For example, I started by writing “For the future, I am grateful for earning $1,000 a week in my business.” Once that happened, I increased the number and continue to increase it to amounts that - 5 years ago, before I was aware of this practice- never would’ve crossed my mind.
So think about your goals, not the big lofty ones that are going to take 10 years to reach. Instead, think of the goals you want to reach in the next month or 6 months. Act as if they already happened and write gratitude statements affirming them.
But again, when you are writing or saying these statements, you have to believe that they are going to happen. You have to act as though you have zero doubts, you have to feel as if they are already your reality.
Step 5: Use Affirmations Daily
Affirmations sound silly at first, but they work through neuroplasticity, which is when neural pathways in the brain change through growth, and in the case of affirmations, using words to rewire the brain.
Positive affirmations help release you from fear, worry, anxiety, and negativity and as you repeat them, they begin to take charge of your thoughts and change your pattern of thinking.
This goes back to the stories you are telling yourself or the stories that are playing in your head. For a while it was believed that adults couldn’t rewire their brains but research has shown that neuroplasticity isn’t just reserved for childhood, that it does happen in adulthood. But it begins with your thought patterns.
When you can make a conscious effort to flip the script and continually tell yourself a different narrative, you’ll start to behave in ways that make that narrative become a reality.
Here are some examples of affirmations related to money:
I am a money magnet.
I manifest money easily and effortlessly.
I am grateful for all the abundance in my life.
I am open to receive now.
I am attracting my ideal clients who are eager to pay me.
I am worthy of unlimited wealth.
Find affirmations that speak to you and use them daily.
So each day, I write down 3 or more things I’m grateful for that day, 3 things I’m grateful for in the future- as if they already happened, and 5 or more affirmations that I then repeat throughout the day.
And to take this a step further, there are amazing books out there to really help you master your mindset.
My favorites and the ones that changed my money mindset are:
You Are A Badass at Making Money
May Cause Miracles
The Universe Has Your Back
Super Attractor
And I linked them in the show notes!
So to recap:
Examine the thought patterns and stories in your head about money. Are they negative? How can you rewrite them?
Evaluate whether you are living in the scarcity mindset or the abundance mindset and intentionally work to live in the abundance mindset.
And in order to stop stressing over money and start attracting it:
Get in alignment with your desires, focus on what you want, tap into the feelings you’ll experience, and act as if it’s already a reality
Change the way you talk about money
Practice gratitude daily
Practice gratitude for the things you want in the future, as if they already happened
Use affirmations to rewire your brain
I promise life can be different for you, and I am proof of that. But it all starts with your thoughts and being intentional about rewiring your brain and telling your mind what you want to experience.
So get out there and make some money moves!
Thanks so much for tuning in, please subscribe so you get notified when new episodes drop, take a screenshot and tag me in your stories at @ashly_locklin and tell me what you thought of the episode!
Sending you all the money vibes!
Show Notes:
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Pivot to Profit High Level Mastermind: https://www.ashlylocklin.com/high-level-mastermind
You Are A Badass at Making Money: https://amzn.to/2QseFo9
May Cause Miracles: https://amzn.to/3aSKFLR
The Universe Has Your Back: https://amzn.to/3jbr1x
Super Attractor: https://amzn.to/3hwip43
The social sales content bundle
Everything you need to create content that converts followers into paying clients and randos into lifers! Proven caption formulas to grow your following and make sales, 125 Headlines, 105 CTAs, interactive content calendar, 6 exclusive video trainings to help you nail your niche & make more sales, and so much more! A must-have for all female entrepreneurs!
